We asked how people would explain pleasurable pain during anal sex to someone who has never felt it before. Enjoying pain after sex as a reminder of a hot session (“After, the anal soreness makes me think of him and the sex.”).Being aroused by a partner’s pain / submission (“I like to make my bottom moan while I rough fuck him.”).Enjoying the feeling that you’re being pushed to your body’s limits (“I like to be pushed to the edge of pain, so that the intensity is high and my senses feel like they’re on overload.”).Enjoying rough sex (with pain as the side effect) (“Fast, deep ‘pounding’ can feel good from time to time.”).Enjoying pain as the result of pinching/twisting/hair pulling/flogging/restraint (that is part of sex but not from anal penetration).I feel like I’m being used for someone else’s pleasure.”) Enjoying pain as the result of being dominated (“I enjoy the pain because it puts me in a submissive head space.This is where it gets juicy: More than 100 of you wrote in to explain what you like, and why! Generally, responses to the type of pain you enjoy fell into the following categories: More than 100 people (36%) said that they have enjoyed pain during anal sex. (One person cheekily replied, “Yes, due to my size,” to this question.) Do you enjoy the pain?Ībout half of people (51%) said that they have never enjoyed pain during anal sex. Most people (64%) who have ever topped said that they have had a partner stop them during sex because it hurt too much. 9% said they had never experienced pain, 1% said they “didn’t know,” and the rest said the question was not applicable. Most people (86%) who bottomed said that they had at some point experienced pain when bottoming. For people having or who had anal sex, 52% reported being “versatile” (being the top and bottom), 29% reported being the bottom (the receptive partner during anal sex), and 15% reported being the top (the penetrative partner during anal sex). Most people (96%) reported that they have anal sex (or have had anal sex in the past). Other sexual orientations reported were bisexual (9%), straight/heterosexual (8%), asexual (1%), and “other” (mostly pansexual and queer). Cis-women, trans men, trans women, genderqueer people, gender non-conforming, gender non-binary and genderfluid people also took the survey.Ībout 80% of people identified as gay/homosexual. “Pain can be enjoyable, if your partner knows how to keep it at the right level.” –Survey respondent Who participated?Ī total of 412 people took the survey. (In other words, the sample isn’t representative of our entire community or San Francisco.) The 412 people who took the survey likely felt they had something to say about pain and sex. We shared this 15-question anonymous survey with our social media followers, on our website and in our newsletters-to reach a convenience sample of people connected to San Francisco AIDS Foundation. “I had a sub who liked rough anal sex and that didn’t want me to use a lot of lube.” –Survey respondent About the pain & anal sex surveyįirst, a few words about the survey. I can’t wait to fill you up with a hot-off-the-press load of info about what makes our community tick when it comes to pain between the sheets. We heard you loud and clear: Our community survey got hot and heavy last month with a variety of responses to our questions about pain and anal sex. Do you like getting jackhammered till your hole is raw? Do you take pleasure in your partner’s pain-turned on by their moans during rough sex?
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